I have noticed the last few years that this topic is getting bigger and bigger....
...and I don't get it entirely.
I don't know why this is so hard for me to wrap my mind around.
I think generally, processed food is good to kick from my diet.
And I do relatively understand that GMOs are different now than what people learned about in 7th grade science class.
But every time anyone talks about getting rid of all GMOs in their diet I think of things like this:
And while I do understand that GMOs are generally created in a lab and not in the field, I really have a hard time understanding how this is much different. I'm not saying it's not. I just don't understand.
But heaven forbid I should say that kind of thing "out loud" on my own page or on someone else's. The thunderstorms of argument and moral high ground that I would be fed make me not want to bring it up.
My bigger focus has been less centered on subtracting GMOs and more centered on adding plants/whole foods.
This week on social media, any female who has been sexually harassed or assaulted is "supposed" to update their status with a "me too", to bring more awareness to how many have been victim to this.
I don't participate in these kinds of things, period. Doesn't matter how much it matters. I don't like to succumb to peer pressure in that way.
But I thought this one was kind of odd.
Why is sexual harassment being included? I'm not sure I know anyone, male or female, over the age of 13 who has not at some point been sexually harassed. I'm not saying it's ok; it's not. But it happens. Just as I'm sure I've not met anyone who wasn't made to feel bad about their body at some point in their life, or who wasn't lied to by someone, or who was mistreated, etc. Sometimes it's stupid teenagers who don't realize the gravity of their choices; sometimes it's adults who do. Sometimes it's adults who don't get that what they're saying to me is not ok.
None of it is ok, but it does happen.
Now, sexual assault is an entirely different story. I think that would be much more educating and eye-opening if the harassment clause were removed from this social media status roundup, because I really do think most people would be surprised at the number of people who have been assaulted and have never told anyone publicly or pressed charges against the perpetrator. I have been lucky enough to not have this experience, but have way too many friends who have privately told me of their own experience with sexual assault. I don't know if I personally know any males who have experienced sexual assault or rape, but I do know that some of my husband's male friends have. One friend with this experience would be too many, but unfortunately, that number is far greater.
This is more probably of a vent than "hey I'm actually going to do something about this" but whatevs.
The person over me at church frequently assumes things I bring to activities are being fully donated to the group/cause.
A few months ago we were making cards to send to less active girls, and I volunteered to bring stamps - I had 2 sheets with different designs on them and thought it would be fun.
At the end of the activity, I asked where they had gone, and was told they were being put in the closet for the stationary to be ready whenever someone felt like sending a letter.
I had brought nearly 40 stamps.
I told her those were from my personal stash of stamps I use when I need to send something and was not donating them. She looked at me with shock and surprise, taken aback, and returned one sheet, saying they would just keep the other set since they were cuter.
We were writing letters to the missionaries in our ward last night, and I volunteered to bring the holiday paper I had to choose from. When I arrived, someone took all the paper and at her instruction, cut it all in half, and at the end of the activity they stashed it before I could say anything.
Now, odds are pretty good I would never have used that paper before moving and would have given it away anyway. But that was my choice to make....
These are items I clearly could not be reimbursed for, as I have had them for a while, and clearly
stated they were things I already had on hand.
A few months ago we hosted something for the men after church and I brought a bunch of produce to top the food with. At the end of the activity, there was lots of leftovers, and I (clearly) stated I would take my leftovers home and remove the equivalent from the receipt.
Then after cleanup was done, I found that she had taken half of my food for herself to take home.
This isn't someone younger than myself, someone in need of money or food or anything like that. Well established, nice house, adult children, active church member for decades, etc. I don't get it.
For the most part I've learned to provide new things that have receipts for reimbursement, like usual, but it's difficult when what's being asked is something you would (I think, clearly) provide a few things for, then take the rest back home. Also, last night, without prompting, I was emphatically told by this same person that if I wanted a pumpkin from the activity, as a leader I would need to pay for it myself.
Well folks, in another installment of "Creepy Bugs In My House", I'd like to let you know that this morning when I turned on the shower, I turned around, and one of the bigger house centipedes I've seen came ferociously slithering across my extra storage cabinet toward me.
In case you forgot what I'm talking about.
I just watched it, because it wasn't at an angle where I'd be able to smoosh it.
Then it jumped off the cabinet and landed on the floor next to my toes.
My whole bathroom is maybe 4 ft by 4 ft, at max.
I screamed and ran out of the bathroom, looking for one of my handy textbooks for smooshing. I was slightly disappointed this was happening so early in the day, as once a textbook falls on a bug, it stays there until my heroic husband comes home to take care of it.
Guess what folks?!
IT FREAKING CHASED ME OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND INTO MY ROOM!!!!
I picked up the first textbook I found, which unfortunately was cardstock-bound (a lot harder to get those guts off), and turned back around to find it gone.
I stalked it out very quietly, and discovered it hiding in the shadow of Caleb's backpack. Very stealthily, I removed the backpack and dropped the textbook.
It didn't work, given the carpet cushion. It nonchalantly moved to the wall, I picked up the book, and began smacking the living daylights out of that wall.
It is dead.
With my newfound bravery, I may vacuum it up myself, rather than waiting til tonight for it to be removed.
I'm considering hiring someone myself to come spray our apartment. I'm so sick of all the spiders and beetles and centipedes. It's disgusting.
1. What I wouldn't give for a yummy teriyaki chicken brown rice bowl from Rumbi right now. (the cost of the airplane ticket, for one)
2. Or a pizza. Or Cafe Rio. Or Krispy Kreme. Or....even a Subway sandwich, really. Or just a homecooked meal I don't have to make. HA! As it was just the short one and I for dinner tonight, we each enjoyed a thoughtfully-prepared bowl of cereal.
3. I made rolls earlier this week to go with a yummy soup during the 2 days that it cooled off to the 70s (guess what peeps, it's in the 80s again right now), and decided that's the last time these wrists are kneading anything for the next 3 months. Carpal tunnel during pregnancy has struck again.
4. I went to the doctor about my back pain last week, and it was decided a nice sized lipoma on my back is likely the culprit. I went for a surgery consult today, and it was confirmed that it is probably even bigger than the primary doc measured on the surface, and deep and attached to muscle; therefore, I have to do a fully anesthetized procedure to cut it out, and have to wait until after delivery.
5. I'm accepting nominations for what I should name the lipoma. It's been my friend for a few years now; I just now decided to get it looked at (real smart, eh). #larrythelipoma
6. I either injured myself or just happened to get some good pelvic pain within hours of completing a workout last Thursday morning. I asked a couple local church fitness gurus (who are familiar with the workout as it's a free class twice weekly at church) via text if I should keep working out or call it good, or even if they knew of some good stretches or exercises, and no one responded. So. I'm sure you know what conclusion I've come to.
7. If you're counting, that means back pain (especially while sitting) + pelvic pain (especially while walking) + wrist/hand/arm pain (especially while trying to do anything productive with my hands like one of the thousand sewing projects sitting in the corner or making dinner) + always assumed migraines.
8. = grumpy me (and very bored me). I think outwardly I tend to handle pregnancy pretty darn well, but to those who will listen to me in the internet sphere, sorry - I'm not handling this that well.
9. I sincerely apologize to all the people in the world who are going through harder times than me, which is probably 98% of the human population. I fully recognize this fact and understand I need to put my big girl pants back on. Thanks for your time.
I'm compiling a playlist of music to have in my earbuds when I go to the hospital some day over the rainbow.
Just so that I can decide when I get there I don't want to listen to anything, talk to anyone, let anyone touch me, or even exist in this realm of the universe.
But hey, at least I'll have the option!
I can't decide if I want super soothing, relaxing music, or get-up-and-move-and-dance music, so both types of suggestions are welcome. I'll probably make 2 playlists, one of each.
Bonus points if it's something that's already on Amazon or another free way to compile a playlist - ha! Of course, I could always just do one of those free trial months for a full music subscription just for the month of November. ;)
Today I decided I hated myself and got 2 vaccinations, 1 in each arm, before going to the library and hauling around approximately 51,000 books, and also Claire, after she got smacked in the face by the automatic power-assisted door on the way in. Lovely purple goose egg on her face. She seems fine.
I'm going to eat some ice cream while the munchkin watches Up for the first time, that we got from the library.
Have you ever had those days that just seem bad even though tings really aren't that bad?
For example, today I got up knowing it was Sunday and I'd be on my own a good portion of the day since it's the husband's weekend to work.
And the last day off he's had was last Sunday (the next day off is next Friday, which is normal, and I need to suck it up, but I digress).
And the kid was sad and upset that her dad left (he didn't have to go in early, and had a mid-shift, so he got to see her this morning - sometimes I don't know if that makes it easier on everyone or not?).
Then we went to church and Claire wanted to crawl all over me while my other kid (who we'll refer to as Herkimer) was karate chopping me from within. I seriously would not be surprised if I get one of those rare bruised ribs from this pregnancy. So there we are in sacrament meeting with her rubbing her face across my whole torso, making sad puppy noises, and all-around making me want to scream.
Then my whole body is hurting, because, it hurts. And it hurts to sit. Period. And I get dizzy after too much time walking/standing. Get me a la-z-boy, please.
Then I make it through church, class gets out a little late, I rush to pick up the munchkin from nursery. I try my hardest to pick her up on time and feel awful when I'm late, but have a hard time leaving class early due to the small size of our youth group.
Then on the way to the car, pass someone who says "Oh my, you look like you're going to pop!" And acts shocked when I mention I have 8 weeks left. I am generally left alone and rarely have had anyone comment on my pregnancy; if anything they're overly kind and "surprised" I am already so far along, so I'm not too aggravated and count my blessings.
I was also trying to get to the parking lot quickly because someone was giving us a couple old toys they had grown out of. When I got there, about 6 minutes after the church hour was over, the sister had already gone inside the chapel looking for me. She came back out, huffed and puffed, didn't say a word to me, and handed them off.
I had garden vegetable surplus that someone had given to me that I just didn't have the freezer space or energy for, and decided to run that to my friend's home, who had just had a baby (and also lives with her parents...don't worry, I wasn't trying to give her a project on top of a newborn!). Drove out of the way to their house, got no response to me trying to contact, and no one was home. Left everything on the porch.
Got home, feeling rejected (unnecessarily), and have been asking Claire to pick up her toys in the living room ever since. It's been about 2.5 hours. I'm not withholding dinner, but extra snacks, new toys from the ward members, video-calling the grandparents, etc. Doesn't care. She just stubbed her toes on a toy and came screaming to me. I lovingly reminded her that she wouldn't have hurt herself if she had picked them up when she was done playing, or even when I had asked her, hours earlier. Still doesn't care.
I've had a minor headache all day, not a big deal, but it's gotten me down wondering if it will get big, since I've had 5 migraine days out of the last 8. Weeks like the last one (pain-wise) remind me of my main reason of why I'm hesitant about having more children.
This could have been any other day and I wouldn't have felt so bummed out about life and wouldn't have cared. But I do. I need a cherry limeade. Or a nice homemade meal. But it's also freaking 90 degrees outside, and my landlord moved out last weekend and I think he turned off the a/c anticipating it being cool outside. So I try not to turn on the oven. Also, I have an OB appointment tomorrow, and they are grumpy about my weight (even though I'm on the same track I was with Claire, and I lost almost all the weight in 6 weeks), and I already know I've gained more. So there's that anxiety, too.
Sunday, one of our home teachers came over to do his mostly-regularly-monthly visit with us.
Somehow we got on the topic of ice cream; I think he had just completed some sort of ice cream road trip with his family.
Which is definitely my kind of road trip.
I, of course, offered up my opinion on the world's, or at least America's, best ice cream.
I'm talking about Tillamook, of course.
Having never heard of Tillamook, he said, "Oh, but have you tried ___?"
___ is a local farm that sells their own ice cream.
Indeed, I had not had this ice cream as of that moment.
Monday morning was Claire's birthday, and I had promised her we would go to the local fair, about 30 minutes away. When it came down to it, no friends wanted to come with us, and I was just not feeling up to going by myself. So, I decided we'd do the next best thing and go to the local farm everyone raves about.
It has a free mini petting zoo, and farm-type playground. You can scoop up corn in toy tractors, race your friends around in the dirt in little cars, pick your own sunflower or pumpkin depending on season, and end the trip with a ride down a slide at the end of a big tractor playground.
After that's all done, grab some hand sanitizer and waltz right over to the little country store where you can buy their exports, chief of which is the ice cream.
Claire picked out the cotton candy, her friend who we brought with us chose mint chocolate chip, and after testing 2 or 3 flavors, I decided to play it safe with cookies and cream.
Claire's friend wouldn't even touch hers, looked uncomfortable about the whole ordeal. Normally I'd say suck it up, that's what you picked, but decided to be cool mom for the day and got her another flavor which she ate half of.
Claire ate all of hers, for the record.
I did too, but it was gross. Probably shouldn't have wasted the calories.
Literally anything you could purchase in the frozen dairy section at your local grocery store would taste 5 times better, and wouldn't coat your mouth in a chemical-like layer.
When I dropped Claire's friend off afterward, her mom asked how we had liked it.
I ever-so-quietly murmured, "Um, it was disgusting."
To which she replied, "I know. But everyone loves it here, so I'm too afraid to say anything."
Today is the beginning of week 30 of this pregnancy, and to date, I have ankles.
An actual picture of either of my ankles with my first pregnancy.
The horrific swelling started at as early as 22-24 weeks last time.
I know I'm far from out of the woods, and this could still occur at any time, but - holy cow!! I can't believe it. I had just resigned myself to this happening.
A friend of mine just gave birth last week and had the same exact experience, all the way to the end. We've discussed that neither of us have really done anything different with our second pregnancies (no significant change in diet, weight gain, exercise patterns, etc.).
I've done my share of scholarly research (okay, it was just Google), and I can't find a clear reason why this happens sometimes and not other times.
But I'm grateful.
Even if it means that just because I've now said it out loud, tomorrow I wake up with sausages for ankles.
Tried a new (maybe it's not new, I have no idea) product today that I got over the weekend for a reasonable price with coupons:
Special K Frozen Quiche
One word: Delicious.
More words: Doesn't look nearly as tasty as the packaging, and is quite tiny. However, it is a good small lunch or snack if you are trying to eat frequent small meals. It is quite filling for how small it is (but hello, it's eggs, sausage, quinoa, cheese - all very filling).
I want to say the price at Target was $2.99 per package, and each package has 2 quiches inside.
They had a 30% off Cartwheel special, which took it down to $2.09 per box, and I had $1 off 2 Special K products in one app and $0.75 in another app or something similar, so i paid around $1.50 or less for each (I bought 1 of each flavor, 2 all together). Not the cheapest, but nice to have around when you want something hot and healthy without the work or time.
This topic was "trending" on my sidebar this evening, and I got to watch a story with Diane Sawyer, nearly 20 years old, on the sinking and attempted cover-up of the USS Indianapolis, of which my great-great uncle was a crew member. The trending story was that a Microsoft co-founder's research team has found the wreckage (which I did not realize had not already been found) and is working with the Navy to explore the site.
I checked my uncle out again on Family Search and realized that he only has one picture uploaded. I'm sure this is not due to lack of available photos, but rather time and people, and wondered if any of the crew photos shown in the news story might be obtained.
I would like to let you all in on a secret that you probably already know.
My current (and past 3 years') secret to keeping a clean house:
Invite people over.
I currently watch a little girl at my house 3-4 times a week between her parents' shifts at work, usually only an hour, right in the middle of the day.
Those days, my dishes are clean, my living room is picked up and vacuumed, and Claire's room is much more likely to have been picked up (that one is hit and miss).
I had a bad headache and didn't feel well yesterday, so no cleaning got done (well, I'm just not great at doing nighttime cleaning - I prefer to clean up in the mornings). Just got the word that I'm not needed to today to watch the friend. I also have plans to help someone out for a few hours this morning....
....so, guess what - cleaning is not my top priority. But if she had not cancelled, I would have busted my bottom to get that kitchen sparkling.
I invited little friends over on the off days last week so that Claire would have someone to play with every day. And my dishes and kitchen were clean every day. It was awesome, and I felt awesome.
Except for all the headaches and not feeling well. But, you know what I mean.
In previous houses, if I made an effort to invite visiting teachers to come, they sometimes came (just kidding, they didn't), but while the appointment was there, I made an effort to clean. Those were harder, due to no storage space. There simply weren't places to put our things when there were no shelving or closets to be had.
So there you go.
I'm highly introverted and am mostly happy without people, but am even happier when the house is clean. I greatly admire people who are driven to keep their house clean when they have other things going on and no one to see their house.
Don't talk to me about my desk though. It's not happening.
Caleb and I have done a lot of talking about debt (alotalot). We are pretty committed to paying off as much as humanly possible, and as quickly as humanly possible, realizing that life may happen and throw blocks at us anyway.
We're thinking of creating a site, or a new blog (separate entirely from this account), documenting the debt payoff, obstacles or cleared pathways that come up, etc. I don't plan on heavily advertising it, but rather having it just be there in internet-land for anyone who wishes to learn from what we do, or laugh at and criticize what we do (whatever floats your boat).
I don't really know why I'm telling you this. Kind of want to put some feelers out there about it, but even if everyone hates the idea, I think we want to do it anyway to document it.
This baby is due right before Thanksgiving (11/20). Naturally, this means that if he's born relatively close to his due date, he'll have his birthday on the holiday at least a few times in his life.
So, my question is, if given the choice, would you rather have your birthday on the holiday (and on the off years surrounding the holiday, so still potential time off work/school), or before the holiday so you didn't have to share?
Now I know this sounds silly, and it really is, but because of Caleb's work schedule and inability to take time off work this year, there is a possibility I may be able to make attempts with the doctors/midwives to get this baby here on one of his weekends off (once September is here, he gets Friday, Saturday and Sunday off every other week. 11 days on + day 11 is a double, and 3 days off). They're willing to work with him a little bit once the baby is here, but I've taken that "luxury" to mean that he'll only get the time off while I'm actually in labor and delivery, and perhaps the next day. It would be ideal if that were to fall on a Thursday or Wednesday before a weekend off.
Also, he leaves for a mandatory conference in Florida 1-2 days before the 42 week mark. So it would be nice to have a 3-week-old rather than a 1-day-old when that happens. Just for my ability to stand up and walk around.
Which scenario would you want to grow up with?
This is something I anticipate bringing up at an appointment once I know which weekends Caleb will have off in November, probably at the 30- or 32-week appointment.
I'm 22 weeks into this pregnancy. I don't feel nauseated anymore, which is GREAT.
But I'm freaking exhausted.
And it's even more exhausting thinking about how I won't be not-exhausted for at least 12 more months.
I'm exhausted thinking about it.
How does anyone ever do this with 10 kids?
I don't even hardly work. Anyone that says my work is still hard as a stay-at-home mom, let me assure you, I'm not working that hard. The other ones probably are. Not me. I'm exhausted.
Yes, I'm taking my vitamins and making attempts at eating a nutritious diet, trying to shove iron in there too. I've had enough blood work done the last 2 months that if something was wrong it should have come up anyway. (Normal pregnancy blood work + thyroid test for heart palpitations - also normal, nothing wrong)
I walked into sacrament yesterday and the sister handing out programs told me it looked like I was still sleeping.
I thanked her.
I have maybe 3 hours each day where I don't feel like I could fall asleep at any second.
In other news, I had an epiphany the other day.
We only have 4 months until this baby gets here, and about 12 months until an anticipated cross-country move (though we really have no idea where we'll be in a year), so we've (mostly I've) been putting up a Washington D.C. bucket list.
A week or so ago I realized that I want to go see a performance at the Kennedy Center. Even though that was never remotely on my list.
So I checked out the website, and (to me) the only upcoming performance of any worth starts this weekend! The King and I runs this month and next, so I just got tickets for Caleb and myself to go to a matinee performance next weekend! Woot! Super excited over here.
Now my excitement has run its course and I must go rest. ;)
If you want really tasty Ramen and want to eliminate that "seasoning packet", try this:
Make the Ramen noodles in however much water you wish (saves time and a measuring cup for measuring); then, after boiling is finished, drain off until you have your desired amount of slurpage.
Add however much of the seasoning packet you want (sometimes none, sometimes I sprinkle a little on).
Then take your spoon and scoop out 1-2 teaspoons of peanut butter and stir into your soup.
I'm sure this is not a new phenomenon, but I got the idea when I was thinking of a friend in college who is from China and made us all hot pot. She started it with boiling peanut butter and water with the noodles. I'm sure peanut oil, actual peanuts, or something more sophisticated is more usual, but hey - this works too.
I generally sleep without pajamas in the summer and while pregnant, because it's way too dang hot otherwise.
So this morning, after using the bathroom and getting Claire set up with her morning dose of Curious George and Daniel Tiger, I went back to my room and slipped on my robe hanging in my closet. Laid back down on my bed on my side/stomach to say something to the husband who was attempting to keep the day from starting.
Then I felt something move on my back.
Ever the paranoid person, I first tried to discount it as the fabric moving on my skin.
So I stayed very still, and felt the movement travel across my back, slowly, between my shoulder blades.
I calmly told Caleb it felt like there was a bug on my back.
He, not understanding I meant underneath the robe, placed his hand directly on my back where the bug was, and said, "Nope, there's nothing."
Feeling more movement, I (still calmly) said, "Nope, definitely something."
I attempted to move closer so he could get the bug more easily, but when I went to move, one of the muscles surrounding the baby seized up (as has happens very frequently this pregnancy, ugh) and I yelled out in pain and fell back down on the bed.
Caleb then was frantic, I heard some yelling, then saw what looked like a house centipede jumping on my bed and crawling around.
The thing of my nightmares.
It jumped off the bed and was in my book basket.
I asked Caleb what it was, and much to my relief was told it was a gigantic wolf spider (or something that resembled it in stature and quickness).
5 minutes of stalking later, Caleb was the house hero and had killed the spider.
The robe is in the laundry, and I may never wear anything again without checking the whole item of clothing up and down, inside and out.
In inner city Baltimore, we always kept all the doors locked, for obvious reasons.
Our car was broken into twice - once I think a homeless person just spent the night inside and drained the battery, and the second time they just stole our GPS unit.
Since moving here, I haven't been as strict about locking my car. I always do at the store, in places where there are lots of people, etc. Not always at home. I know, that sounds really dumb.
I just heard there has been an increase in car break-ins in the area; specifically, windows being smashed in.
In Baltimore, I rarely, if ever, saw a window broken in. I know it happened, I just didn't see it in the places I lived. Thieves were relying on unlocked cars and easy-to-unlock cars.
It sounds like here, if someone is going to break into my car, they are going to break into my car regardless of whether it is unlocked or not. So, my thinking is that I might as well leave the door unlocked to prevent further damage. My stereo is not worth stealing; the only thing worth stealing is the car seat, which costs less than the deductible I'd have to pay if someone caused any damage, theft or otherwise, to my car. Also, funny as it may sound, out of all my friends who had their car broken into in Baltimore (all of them), not ONE had a car seat stolen. One just had some charging cords stolen, with 2 brand new car seats sitting in the back seat. Makes me laugh. Kind of.
What the heck is up with all the people on Facebook marketing something or other but can't/won't give explicit details about it?
If you have to use a thousand emojis to describe your product, have no actual pictures of the product, or the before and after pics have clear and HUGE lighting differences, that's a red flag.
Also a red flag?
If you end the post with "Comment below if interested/for more details".
Then, when someone comments, "I'll pm you."
How about you just put up an explicit price list?
The latest one is a (Facebook) friend who's putting in a life-changing toothpaste order in the morning.
I might actually be interested....but the whole fact that no brand/company is ever mentioned, and no prices or details are made public is ridiculous. Why should 35 people all have to ask the exact same question? Just tell me publicly that it's 25 freaking dollars for a 2 ounce tube and save everyone some time (I actually have no idea how much it costs....not wasting my time).
So yeah. Just FYI, I pass on all these things if there are any of the previously listed red flags. Annnnd....sometimes (a lot of times) I hide these people because they start blowing up my news feed with their business goals rather than their personal achievements and family life. Create a separate business page (kudos to you who have)!
And if you do any of these things, realize that a lot of people feel this way. If you're still making a good profit and have plenty of customer volume and are cool with the fact that you annoy the crap out of a bunch of your Facebook "friends", carry on.
Also, if you do these things, I don't hate you. It's just really annoying.
What I'm about to post will be controversial, for sure, and argued among colleagues for months to come.
Combined Facebook accounts.
Yes, I know some of my readers have them, some have considered them.
Coming from the friend's perspective, they are annoying as heck.
Reason #1: You never know who is really posting.
Now, I have had some friends combine accounts and their spouse never uses Facebook again. However, I have also commented on friends' posts before, only to find out it was actually their husband posting, their husband whom I have never met. I don't want to be unfriendly, but I wouldn't have started up a conversation with the guy had I known it was him.
I also feel weird when I have friends' posts come up in my news feed that are clearly from their spouse. I didn't friend your spouse, I friend-ed you.
I don't generally "friend" my friends' spouses unless we also have a friendship, a networking need to be friends, or perhaps even a calling where we might need to communicate or share ideas (but really, I've never had that happen).
Reason #2: Suddenly, I have no desire to ever private message you again.
I will never know who is really reading those private messages.
I'm not one to send skanky pictures via a personal message, or talk about inappropriate things, but I do care to know who I am talking to. I don't plan on sending a message asking "how are ya", "hey do you want to go visiting teaching next week", "oh my gosh the worst thing just happened at work", "My kid just pooped all over the floor", etc to your husband. It's not that it's inappropriate, but I just really would like to be confident of who is reading my message.
Also, that emoji that has hearts for eyes? Yeah, I'd feel weird if I sent that in a message that your husband read first.
Years ago, I was expressing my frustration about combined accounts to a close friend who had recently gotten married. She sheepishly said that they were considering it themselves.
My response was that she should do what was best for herself and her husband, but that she would never get another private message from me, or a post on her wall. It just makes me feel weird. She should feel comfortable in how she uses social media, but I need to feel comfortable too. It goes both ways.
These are really my main reasons for hating it, but these are some reasons I've heard from others on why they are combining accounts:
This will help keep us accountable to each other and have transparency in our marriage.
I honestly believe if you have that big of a transparency issue, you should get off Facebook. And if you really can't trust your spouse that much and it is not unfounded, he/she probably has another account that you don't know about anyway.
With that being said, I don't expect to tell you anything over Facebook that I wouldn't want your spouse to see. (If I had something ultra personal, I'd probably preface my message with just that....but again...your spouse is your spouse, I don't expect you to keep secrets from them). I just don't want to feel like I'm sending something to you that your spouse might first screen.
My spouse doesn't use Facebook anyway, so this way everyone that wants to contact him can just contact me.
If he's not on Facebook, his colleagues and friends probably call/text/e-mail him just fine. And it's probably really apparent from his Facebook wall/profile that he doesn't ever use it.
Growing up, in many group chastity lessons, inevitably someone would ask the seminary teacher, or the unlucky bishopric member, a question of "is ___ allowed when I'm dating?" This frequently led to a response of "If you have to ask, the answer is probably no."
This led to youthful me feeling very frustrated. As the oldest child with 4 younger sisters, discussions like this were not frequent in our home. I don't fault my parents for that, but being told that if you had a question about what you could and couldn't do meant that you shouldn't be doing that thing was very confusing. Even though I knew that couldn't be right, every time I wondered something like that I had that guy in the back of my head saying it must not be good then. Not the Holy Ghost. The really otherwise-nice bishopric member.
I think what they mean, or rather should say, is "Here are the clearly stated things you should and should not allow while dating. That specific question might be better to discuss with your parents, where you can come to a conclusion after a thoughtful and personal discussion with people who know you, know your strengths and weaknesses, etc".
I was reminded of this today when talking about keeping the Sabbath holy in Sunday school, a class member with more weight to his words announced that if you are wondering if doing something is acceptable on the Sabbath, it probably isn't.
What if you are a new member and are unsure if leaving your house to visit your sick grandmother 100 miles away, because you might have to purchase gas, is in line with Sabbath day observance?
What if you are a healthcare professional, or a police officer, or just got a random job after a long bout of unemployment, and conditional on retaining the job is that you work on Sunday? And you're pondering what the right thing to do is? The answer is not automatically "Do not do that thing because you're wondering about it." Or what if you make poor Sabbath day observance choices, but never think about it? Does that mean you're good? :P
It's not a great message, in my opinion, to spread.
Yesterday, I had a friend post on Facebook, without going into specifics, about the sheer magnitude of debt they are facing upon graduation from her husband's dental program at the University of Maryland.
This post is not meant to incite pity, or feelings of anger that I want a free lunch or anything like that. I don't believe these things should be free by any means; I mostly just want people to understand the sheer magnitude of money it takes to attend some professional schools, especially those in a metro area.
I won't go into exact specifics, but I am going to give you numbers. They just aren't our numbers. Our numbers are 10-20% higher.
Let's make a reasonable assumption that Caleb will find a hospital pharmacist job that pays $100,000 next year (nice, round number).
In Utah, after taxes, that will be an annual salary of $68,000, or $5,600 monthly.
To me, these numbers are HUGE. With good reason. They are. There is no complaining here.
To pay off our student loans in the expected 10 years, our monthly payment will be $3,100.
Or, $37,200 annually.
If we choose to take the 25 year repayment option, that number will be $1800/month, or $21,600 annually.
The number will be higher when it comes time for repayment, because the interest that has been accruing from day one will be added to the principal.
That interest is accruing at more than $30/day.
Which brings me to the third option, the income-based repayment plan.
Income-based repayment is 10% of your income.
Roughly, $10,000 per year.
If interest is accruing at $30/day, that comes out to just shy of $11,000 in interest per year on the original principal balance.
You would potentially never touch the principal of the loan.
After 25 years, the remaining amount is forgiven, and you are fully taxed on the forgiven balance that year. Oh, and then that balance that was forgiven is now a burden on the American taxpayers.
My friend, who lives far more frugally than I, but whose husband's education was probably 25% more expensive than our situation, was met with responses that went similar to this:
"You've gotta stay away from those student loans."
"You have to live frugally, or you'll be paying that off the whole 20 years."
"I know people who pay off their loans in 5 years and they live way more frugally than those who spend 20 years."
What I saw was a bunch of people who had the right idea, but really didn't understand how large of loans a lot of these professional students, or students from private universities, etc are walking away from school with.
Those who are able to save up and pay for school outright should be praised. That is AWESOME! But not always feasible when tuition and fees for an out-of-state student are almost $40,000/year for 4 years and living expenses are high in the area.
I'm not suggesting school should be free (it shouldn't...economics...hello), but I do think that an overhaul is needed. Can there not be a study or investigation into where the tuition and fees go and why the cost has increased so much?
I'm having a hard time finding any exact data, but suffice it to say that pharmacists who graduated even 10 years ago had nowhere near this cost to their education. Pharmacists Caleb has worked with over the last 4 years have asked him about the cost of his education, expecting it to be higher than theirs, and expecting him to say something like $20,000. He has gotten a sufficient number of dropped jaws to imply that this is crazy high.
I will say that some of Caleb's classmates are graduating without debt. Only a few students have children, many students live with their parents (some students' parents bought them a house to live in while in school!), and many students' parents paid for their education.
My friend's family is planning on taking the income-based minimum monthly payment plan and paying the taxes on the forgiven portion (likely around $350-400,000) after 25 years.
Caleb and I are hoping (and we may be in dream land) that he can find a job close to family (or in an affordable region if there are no jobs available near family) and find as affordable of housing as we can. That he can find a hospital position that has a dependable enough schedule that he can be a floater for another company a few times a month, and that I can find a job to work part time or full time with good childcare options. And that we can pound out our loans as quickly as possible.
We may have lofty and unreasonable hopes.
That's the current plan, but you never know what life will throw at you, so we are ever changing and adjusting, thinking of different scenarios.
I have a lot more to say on the matter, but it's much more jumbled than this already-jumbled post, and I think this gets my point across.
Feeling too sick to get up and do anything, yet feeling so crazy hungry that you want to eat everything and nothing all at once, and feeling that you might die or pass out if you don't get food in the next 30 seconds.
For me, this adds up to a lot of eating out.
Which adds up to lots of $$$.
In my head, freezer crock pot meals could be a solution; however, I have yet to meet a freezer crockpot meal that I really liked. Which is a problem when I'm hating a lot of food right now. Of all the ones that I've made, the ingredients just didn't do well all mixed together in the freezer.
So far, toast and microwave/easy-to-make meals have been the main thing saving me from eating out too much. Personal favorite: Costco's Madras Lentils. They're on coupon this month. I managed to get out to Costco last week on the hubster's day off and got as many boxes as the rebate allowed.
Also (even though this is obviously eating out), Pizza Hut's deal for 2 medium pizzas for $6.99 each has been awesome, since that can stretch for 3 meals for myself and the munchkin. And it's just as close to my house as any eating option. As well, the McDonald's app has great deals. Yes, it's McDonald's, but even if you casually eat there just every once in a while, there are really REALLY awesome deals on the app most every day.
What did/do you do to deal with the first 3-4 months of pregnancy (and the rest of it) when it comes to food, food cravings, intense hunger, and all the food aversions?
I just spent 10 minutes trying to find out who exactly is the brains behind the Affordable Care Act, or, frankly, any healthcare legislation. I was looking for physicians, economists, actuaries, etc. I searched for 10 minutes and could only find the names of the senators who introduced bills. I'm not saying they're not there, just that I either put in the wrong search terms, or they are well hidden (or they're not there - please let this not be the case).
This seems like common sense, right?
I was listening to the news this morning before Claire got up (a rare occurrence indeed for me to be awake before the munchkin, because I am lazy), and scrolling through articles online, and saw an article about healthcare with comments from lots of people talking about on one hand, all these people now can't afford health insurance, who might have been able to previously; and on the other hand, all these women who couldn't get health insurance when they were pregnant because it was considered a preexisting condition now are guaranteed to not be turned down for insurance.
WHY CAN'T WE ALL AGREE THAT BOTH OF THESE OPTIONS WERE BAD?
We want women to have access to healthcare while pregnant. We also want people to be able to afford their healthcare.
I don't understand why it has to be one or the other. Why can't we have something in the middle? Something where people can afford health insurance, something where people are encouraged to live more healthfully in order to drive down healthcare costs, something where people aren't terrified to get pregnant or go to the dentist or get routine health checks just because they won't be able to afford the bill?
At the end of the day, what's mostly frustrating to me is the misunderstanding about cost, balance, risk, etc.
It would be great if everyone were covered for absolutely every healthcare issue no matter what - but there will be reactions to that - i.e. higher costs than previously paid for some, maybe lower costs than previously paid for others, possibly fewer doctors to choose from, longer wait times, higher flat taxes, etc. I'm not suggesting we should not cover people with preexisting conditions - just that people should realize that when this happens, the cost has to be offset somewhere else. No free lunches.
I won't pretend to be someone who is knowledgeable about this area. I'm not. I know this is super jumbled. Just thinking out loud. I'd love it if someone who is more knowledgeable could explain things better to me.
I am absolutely terrified to ever have children again.
I should re-phrase:
I am absolutely terrified to ever physically give birth to and raise from infancy any other children.
I still get anxiety thinking about having Claire. Maybe this is normal, but no one ever seems to want to address that fact. I don't care to talk about it (just thinking about it right now is giving me anxiety), but I also don't want people to pretend it's all peachy and something that isn't a big deal just because every woman who gives birth has to go through it.
And taking care of an infant. How do people get over the anxiety of wondering if their kid is alive all night? I look at my own grandma who had 10 kids and other friends and people I've known who have had similar #s of children and have zero (0) idea of how they emotionally and mentally (and physically) got through it.
Then couple everything with my migraines and pain problems. I'm terrified to be in the middle of a migraine and have 5 kids under 7 who need me all at once while my husband's away on a 12-hour shift at the hospital. It isn't like this is a once-a-year problem, but potentially a 1-5 times a week problem. It terrifies me. And then that anxiety in turn is likely to give me another migraine!
It's a vicious cycle.
I have always had a desire to be a foster parent. I can't explain it. I know that is not without its own HUGE set of challenges, but I often wonder if this isn't a possible solution.
As we get into the thick of winter, I would also like to remind us all we are getting deeper into the season of
THE WEDDING CLOAK
Remember, you can do your part to discourage use of this hooded monstrosity. Help brides who are in the throes of infatuation and unable to think clearly. No one wants to look back at their wedding photos and realize that their beautiful dress that they exchanged their firstborn's college education for was hidden the entire time by a thick, white, fur-lined hood.
However, know that if you do choose this hooded cloak, I won't boycott your wedding. I'll still come, support you, bring a gift, and I won't even make any comments about it.
But I'll be thinking them.
Side note: Claire just happened by, saw the picture, and screamed, "SANTA CLAUS!!!"
Ok, I have a legitimate question, but for fear of being attacked on social media, I don't put it there.
I honestly don't understand why our government is funding Planned Parenthood at all.
I'm not even talking about different beliefs on abortion and contraception and what services are performed there, etc.
If it's a federal mandate that everyone has to have insurance, and that all insurances must offer coverage of contraception, why are they funding this?
I understand not all insurances do offer contraception coverage, that there are exceptions...I used to have coverage through one of the exceptions.
But do you get my point?
To me, it's like the government saying:
You must all enroll in dance classes. And if you enroll in dance classes, you'll get free ballerina slippers. Here, we're going to give tax dollars to this random place that sells ballerina slippers so that they can give ballerina slippers to people who can't afford them.
Surely it must be more complicated than that; I'm not trying to be crass. I honestly don't understand why this is going on, what the point is.
Why not just keep the money and use it elsewhere, or expand Medicaid or lower healthcare costs for the public? Or not take the tax dollars in the first place?